Four of Cups: You can speak from the heart, but you can’t force others to hear what you say.
Accepting people for who they truly are is an act of love, even when that includes a painful rejection, even when that requires that you let them go.
Other people’s happiness is not your responsibility. It’s up to you to give love. It’s not up to you whether or not it is accepted.
The only happiness you are responsible for is your own.
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My Tarot Valentine is a collection of vintage love and romance Tarot blog posts, condensed instruction how to do one Tarot meditations, and a peek behind the scenes of doing a professional romance Tarot reading. (pdf download, 44 pages formatted to A4, standard us copy paper)
Romance Tarot Q&A: What do the Lovers card and the Ace of Cups mean in a romance reading?
Hello and welcome to TaoCraft Tarot blogcast. I’m glad you are here. This is the updated version of a post from Valentine season 2015:
Q: What does the combination of the Lovers Card and the Ace of Cups card mean in a tarot reading when the question is about romance?
A: It depends.
This where Tarot reading gets complicated. This is exactly why professionals charge for their services. It takes time, experience and deliberate effort to learn how to fit multiple cards together like this, especially when there is a specific context or question like romance. Good for you for taking it on and giving it such thoughtfulness! Thank you for sharing your question. I appreciate the opportunity to give everyone a behind the scenes peek at multiple card Tarot readings.
Even when you are only dealing with a one card meditation, context matters. What was the question you asked, specifically? What kind of general energy did you sense from the cards? Advice? Caution? Validation? Acknowledgement? Something else? Is there any purely intuitive impressions coming through beside the basic card meanings? Of all of the card meaning available in references and “little white books” did any of those meanings jump out at you?
Now take all of those one card considerations and raise them to the power of 2 or more cards. Understanding a full layout asks you to take all of the single card things into account than layer the card spread considerations on top. What layout were you using? What position were these cards within that layout? What meaning did those layout positions have? Professionals think about all those things as we do a reading. That’s why I always have my Tarot reading students start with a one card daily meditation practice before moving on to multiple cards.
The more cards, the more exponentially complicated the reading becomes. Which is why I don’t use large layouts like the Celtic Cross for myself or for my clients. In my experience after 7 cards or so a reading gets real gnarly, real fast. For me seven cards is the tipping point where the reading becomes more confusing than helpful.
Now take all of that technical stuff and multiply it again by ethical considerations. Romance readings are a special kind of difficult because of the other person involved. Unless you have the significant other person’s direct, real-world permission to read about them, then the reading has to focus only on the person getting the reading. Even when you are doing the reading for yourself and it seems internal and private, you still must respect the other person’s wishes on an energy level. If you don’t get a sense of the other person, then that’s it. The reading is about you and you alone. Other people have every right to keep their thoughts, feelings, intentions and energy to themselves. The key is to look for advice about how YOU can help the relationship to be the best it can be. Don’t try to know what the other person thinks or feels or will do. Try to know what is the highest and best for your part in the relationship. That focus on you applies to both the readings that you do for yourself and any relationship readings a professional does on your behalf.
All of that aside, we still haven’t tried to understand these particular two cards.
For example if the Ace of Cups is in a layout position that represents “a lesson from your past,” you might get a different overall message than if the Lovers was in that position. For example, if we interpret the Ace as “inner light” (as Diane Morgan does) then Ace of Cups as a “lesson from the past” layout position within a romance reading might be asking you to bring your inner wisdom to the question. It might ask if the relationship is making your inner light brighter or making it dimmer. How is the relationship’s effect on your inner light similar or different from past relationships?
Now switch things around. The Lovers card symbolizes your deepest desires. If the lessons from the past is to look at desires and what you’ve learned from them…the message may be more on the order of “be clear about what you desire for this romance.” In the lessons from the past position of a layout, that might change the Lovers’ advice. Or it may be asking you to think about how your romantic hopes and dreams have evolved over time. Do you still want the same thing from this romance as you used to?
So by extension…if you change the card’s layout positions and position meanings, you may not change the card’s basic meaning, but you do change the underlying message. The same card in a different layout position and in combination with different cards does changes the whole reading in some big ways. It’s a lot to think about but those layers upon layers of meanings are the difference between a good reading and truly masterful one.
So the real answer to your question is that I can’t tell what the two cards mean together without knowing more about the layout you used and the question you asked. It would be better to talk about those things in private. I never put private or identifying information in the blog.
I hope this helps a little. Let me know if you want to set up a private second opinion lesson or if you would rather have me do a new and more current reading for you.
Thank you everyone for reading and listing to this vintage post from my TarotBytes Blog on the old Modern Oracle Tarot website. I still do this kind of second opinion Tarot consulting. They are supportive, judgement free, and education oriented. The consults are available on the no appointment needed tab at the top of this page for blog readers. I’ll put a link in the episode description for podcast listeners.
See you next time in the TaoCraft Tarot blog cast for a Valentine’s Day You Choose Interactive Tarot reading.
TaoCraft Short Sip is Tarot contemplation in the time it takes to sip from your coffee. Today: seven of cups
Hello. Welcome to TaoCraft Short Sip: Tarot contemplation in the time it takes to sip from your coffee. I’m glad you are here.
Today’s card is the seven of cups.
For the past several years, on the first fourteen days of February, I did a series of posts called “My Tarot Valentine” where the one card daily coffee fueled Tarot contemplation was focused on love, romance, and relationships. From one sentence affirmations to a few paragraphs of advice, whatever card that turned up was viewed through as much of a pink hued Valentines Day lens as I could muster.
There were fewer cups cards than you would expect over the years. Interestingly, here we are back in early February and we have a cup card with no romantic or relationship vibe around it whatsoever.
The essence of the message is vague and generally as it always is when you are reading for a wide audience online like this. It can apply to anything, really, including romance. The vibe is basically: don’t be arrogant in your decision making, let kindness lead the way.
Cups symbolize emotions, and the emotion often associated with the seven is feeling overwhelmed, or feeling a level of anxiety because of overthinking things. It can also be a sort of decision paralysis as it is called. That is the feeling you get when there are so many delicious sounding things on a menu that you can’t decide what to order. Instead of an embarrassment of riches, it is an embarrassment of choices.
Having too many good choices, like the delicious menu is a privilege. Feeling boxed in by nothing but equally bad options is a dilemma. Both are solved by letting logic rest and letting heart and kindness lead the way. Look, as many have said, for the highest good with harm to none, yourself included.
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Thanks again, and I’ll see you at the next sip!
TaoCraft Short Sip is Tarot contemplation for your day in the time it takes to sip from your coffee. Today is the three of cups – the cyber crew counts too.
Hello and welcome to TaoCraft Short Sip: a Tarot contemplation in the time it takes to sip from your favorite morning beverage. I’m glad you are here.
Today’s card is the the three of cups.
Early February always seems to carry a big cups energy. Ooof…that sounds like a underwear joke for 10 year olds waiting to happen, doesn’t it? Cups in Tarot are associated with close relationships, the element of water, and emotions.
Emotions are high this time of year. For folks who like the outdoors and warm weather, the emotions are often frustration with winter, with a dollop of cabin fever on top. For those of us who like cooler weather, we are intent on soaking up the hot chocolate and yarn driven coziness as long as possible. Many people are enjoying the mid-month hallmark holiday. I’m here for it just to get the on sale chocolate.
Like Valentine’s Day, the suit of cups shines a light on relationships often with a focus on the romantic ones. But also like the modern holiday, the suit of cups reflect other relationships too.
Palintine’s day is a great idea. I’m inspired by the youngling and the roommates and their DIY charcuterie board and movie marathon party last year. This is exactly the kind of camaraderie that the three of cups is talking about. It is a celebration of like minded friends.
The celebration of like minded friends is no longer limited to physical spaces. The past couple of years have, by necessity, has de-emphasized face to face socialization, but has to replaced that with long distance communication emphasizing a meeting of hearts and minds. Friendships can, indeed, exist in cyberspace.
Many of us already knew that. I count the people I’ve met with and talked with and continued to communicate with in cyberspace as much among my friends as those who live nearby in meat-space.
The energy is around the card today is very lighthearted, laid back and friendly. No major message or ponderous spiritual guidance. The energy reminds me of a simple delight, kind of like those small paper valentines cards kids exchange (or used to exchange) in primary school. Have a little fun. Tell your friends that you appreciate them – in meat space and cyberspace too.
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See you at the next sip!
Take a breath.
No, really, take a deep breath. You stopped for a moment to read this (thank you for that) so use it to stare at the screen, look busy but take a deep relaxing breath.
Thanks. I did that too.
The Judgement card is my nemesis. It seems like everyone has a card that resonates with them, that seems to signify where they are in life. Some cards are just comfortable, familiar or welcome. Sometimes a card resonates with an idea or an old battle or some constant struggle…a nemesis.
I won’t introduce you to that particular skeleton in the closet. We’ll get back to that when I get around to writing “Arcana in Balance.”
Still, it is a challenge to connect this card to Valentine’s Day without being overly harsh. So I’ll connect it to a thread of yesterday’s card instead.
Yesterday, the six of cups reminded us of innocence, and the in-the-moment sweetness of simplicity. To taste that sweetness we adults must first release judgements, expectations and pre-conceived notions of what a moment should be. Valentine’s Day this year isn’t business as usual. Let it be the moment it is. Let go of judgement to find your way to the sweetest present moment that you can.
I liked Empire.
Especially the music from the first season. As many TV dramas do, it went off the rails toward the end. Sharks must be jumped it seems.
All in all, my favorite moment in the whole thing was when Cookie told a young Jamal “I got you.”
That hit me right in the motherhood. Maybe it is how I was raised, maybe it us cultural, maybe its just how I’m wired, but to me that’s how a core family (that may or may not be genetically related) show love is by doing for each other. You need HOW many cookies for school tomortow? I got you. You need a ride to WHERE? I got you. You need me to listen? I got you. Need a beer after a long week at work? I got you. Need me to send you a funny political cartoon to make you laugh? I got you. Need a simple answer to a simple question? I got you there too, but it might come on the form of a coffee fueled lecture. Accepting and loving the beauty of imperfection is another card and another day.
Today, the earthy practicality that goes with the Pentacles has my attention more than the idea of balance that the two specifically emphasizes.
Nothing says “I love you” quite like the stuff you do right after the “I got you.”
It’s a reflex.
It’s so easy that it is almost impossible to stop yourself from snapping at loved ones when you are stressed, cranky, tired, hangry or pushed to the limit by whatever. It’s proximity, just like the nerve reflexes your doctor checks with the little rubber hammer thingy. Particular nerve reflexes are wired so that they basically short out across the spinal cord and bypass the brain entirely. Your leg moves with the hammer boink without you thinking about it or willing it to do it…or not do it. It’s the same brain-bypass that lets you snap your hand back from a hot pan so you don’t get burned.
Reflexes bypass language editing centers. I don’t know about you, but when one of those injury avoiding ‘ouch’ reflexes happen, it is usually accompanied by at least “OW” and usually a swear or two. Reflexes happen faster than cognitive processing, they don’t go all the way to the brain and have a shorter distance for the nerve impulse to travel, for a simplified way to look at it.
The same is true when we are under stress. It is quick and easy to take it out on loved ones because, with any kind of luck, they are relatively close at hand. The stress has a short distance to travel. If you are the stressed one, it is hard to stop yourself from doing that. If you are the one in the splash zone of your loved one’s stress, it is hard to stop yourself from getting reflexively defensive and splashing a little bit too.
I’ve learned this from my spouse who is a freaking saint to put up with me my crankies, but taking care of yourself is an act of love for the ones you are closest to. Get a nap, have a snack, whatever it is that works to manage your stress…DO it. You’ll be doing a favor for your own mental health as well as giving a token of affection to those who you love…and who love you.
Passions and emotions ebb and flow like the tides. A committed relationship is rock steady underneath it all, no matter what difficult emotions splash against it.
Money can’t buy love, but thoughtfulness and attentiveness are priceless.
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