Soulmates and the sum of the parts

TaoCraft Short Sip is Tarot for your day in the time it takes to sip from your coffee. Today, Soulmantes and the sum of the parts with the two of cups.

Hey there. Welcome to TaoCraft Short Sip: a Tarot contemplation for your day in the time it takes to sip from your coffee. I’m glad you are here.

Today’s card it the Two of Cups.

Nevermind the Lovers from the major arcana, THIS is the card you want to see in a love, romance or relationship reading. This is a card that most often resonates with long term, committed, loving, satisfying relationship. It is associated with marriage, handfasting or any life long commitment between any two human beings.

But like anything this is a yin-yang, giving-getting two-sided coin.

Remember that old candy commercial about chocolate and peanut butter? Peanut butter is delicious on its own. It’s something to eat by the spoonful if you ask me. Chocolate is sublime, the more cacao the better in my book. Love the dark stuff. Together they are extra. Together they are more than either alone.

The best romances are like that.

The worst ones are too, except the “extra” is added to the not-good side of things. Kind of like those generic candies that use terrible quality ingredients and are tasteless, weird textured and generally unpleasant.

Personally, I don’t buy into the whole other half, twin flame idea. I mean, think about it for a minute. Who would you rather spend your life with? Would you rather be with someone who expects you to complete them or someone who is a true partner adding their battery to your mutual light? Would Ironman have flown away yelling “you complete me” if Pepper was anything less than a fully independent phenomenon in and of herself? If you need someone to complete you, isn’t that a way of controlling you too? If someone needs you to complete them isn’t that controlling you too?

Good romance isn’t built on need. In a good romance both parts give and get, get and give. It isn’t about two parts completing a circuit, it is about two fully charged batteries powering up the full circuit and shining a light brighter than either one battery could alone.

Romances are like those candies. The best result doesn’t come from peanut butter looking for more peanut butter in order to make them into better peanut butter. The best result doesn’t come from cocoa butter looking for a cacao beans to make it into better chocolate. The symbiotic extra can’t happen if you are looking for another half to make a whole. The extra only happens when two free standing and fully good things work together to make the magic happen.

TaoCraft Tarot blogcast depends on your support through “buy me a coffee” donations, Tarot Table memberships and purchases through the website. Links are clickable in the blog and are found in the episode description of the podcast.

Thanks for reading & listening. I’ll see you at the next sip!

My Tarot Valentine, February 14, 2021: Love on both sides

I picked a Tarot card today, but not at random.

In 2015, the Lovers random appearance inspired the first “My Tarot Valentine” post on

‘Tarotbytes” blog on Modern Oracle Tarot. When the Lovers turned up as “card of the month” it sparked the idea of one card meditation readings specifically focused on love, romance, relationships and Valentine’s Day.

This year, I think the idea has run its course and this is the last of the “My Tarot Valentine” blog posts. Relationship readings and posts won’t go anywhere, I just want to let the energy of them flow organically, and not try to bend the energy toward a seasonal topic. It just seems right to wrap up with the card that started it. What better bookends than love on both sides?

The relationship in question is, I suppose, mine with the blog. It is a pale example of the card’s message, which has changed surprisingly little since it’s first February appearance. But then, you would expect that from the important lesson that major arcana cards tend to teach.

It’s all about desire. Not romance.

It can be any consuming, life-driving want. It could be something material, something spiritual, or a life partner and soulmate. It is asking us to stop feeling sorry for ourselves because of what we don’t have and ask ourselves why we want it in the first place.

Why do we want to celebrate Valentine’s day? Keep in mind, my only exposure to the holiday is the one dripping in American commercialism. “Cheap chocolate and an excuse to buy a bottle of wine” is a perfectly acceptable answer to the question. I like to think that the real motivation is the holiday serves as a prompt to make some sweet, sincere small gesture to show the people in our life how much we care.

This series, this blog is my gesture of appreciation to you. I am thankful to you for reading this. Thank you for appreciating the art and adventure of Tarot with me.

Did you know that anytime you get a reading here, you get your choice of topic? You can ask a specific question, choose a general topic (like romance or relationships or leave the whole reading open and let spirit lead the way.

My Tarot Valentine 2021: Two Hearts Can Be Better Than One

No video today…having some issues with the YouTube upload. If I can get it to work, I’ll add the video later below. Before we move on to the card, what do you think of the video / written post combination? Comments are open now, so don’t hesitate to speak up (unless you are speaking in spam.) What do you like about the blog? Hate about it? Let me know what kind of Tarot content you want to read, and I’ll do what I can to create it.

I like the authenticity the videos lend to a post. You can see the card drawing itself. You can see that this is a real, random card draw for the post. It gives a visual, relatable window into the Tarot process over and above a static card image. Because of the large file size, it isn’t practical to do this with full, customized distance readings, but for these general audience, short, one card meditations, the blog and YouTube videos (usually) play well together. By that same token, the written blog gives us the space and pace to explore the card with more depth and thoughtfulness than video will tolerate. I can take a few seconds to stop and listen to spirit and intuition while I’m writing. Those few seconds of dead air in a video are a long boring eternity. I like to think that this combination is the best of both mediums.

Other days, like today, are in full “dammit Jim, Imma writer not a yootoober” mode. If I have to re-shoot a video, then the random part of the draw gets lost unless I draw a whole new card, which is easy enough to do. Other times, like today, the first card has something to say. The King of Cups wants to be heard, so I’ll listen despite the technical glitches both in filming and uploading. And no, it isn’t friggen’ Mercury.

Actually, it is a short, simple, straightforward message.

Talk it out.

Relationships are important things. They are hardwired to connect outwardly, and by their very definition and nature connect to other people. Relationships are not something that can be sorted out if they are a swirling jumble inside just your own head. If, for whatever reason, you are not able to talk it out with the significant other in question, then a sounding board of some sort is really helpful. Yes, by all means, talk, text, write, send smoke signals, do anything and everything you can to communicate directly with the other person in the relationship. If that isn’t possible, then talk it out with somebody. At the very least, talk it out in a journal. Turn the self-talk outward be it with pen and paper or be it talking with a trusted friend or family or therapist or psychic or what have you. The process of talking it out, the process of verbalizing or writing it all out may be exactly the process you need to make sense of it all. Have a heart to heart chat with your pet. Organizing your thoughts and feelings and channeling them through your language centers might just be the bridge from feeling to knowing that you need. It is the switch that makes the light bulb click on.

This has nothing to do with traditional interpretations for the card. It is pure intuition in the context of this “My Tarot Valentine” series, but the advice here is also to talk about any big changes in a romantic relationship before your make up your mind and begin the conversation with your love interest. It has that ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it feels important for someone out there’ feeling.

It feels like it is important to talk out the relationship, and any changes you have in mind, yes, but before you act, talk to someone trusted who is older than you and of the same gender as the significant other in question. I ‘hear’ “slow your roll.” Clairaudience is like clairvoyance, except for me when I say ‘hear’ it means that the intuition is in the form of words instead of mental images. I can teach you more about that another time (watch this space!)

But to stay on message…relationships connect outward, so if you have any concerns about a relationship, process it outwardly. Don’t keep going in emotionally charged circles inside your own head. Write it out in a journal if nothing else. Change to a relationship in terms of this card today holds no judgement. It can be good or bad, depending on your individual situation and needs. Whether you are thinking of popping the question or cutting the cord, talk it out with someone you trust, someone who wants the best for you who is a friend or relative (someone who is NOT invested in the outcome except for your happiness) Talk it out with someone older or wiser, preferably someone of the same gender as your significant other. I don’t know why that part, I’m just trusting the intuition there.

And there, as I always say at the end of a reading, the energy steps back.

Technical gremlins are afoot.

So are some changes for spring. I’m not going to give a “hard opening” for a new distance reading that I hope to develop. I’m hoping to announce a big change for the spring equinox. Please go to the right side of the page (or scroll WAYYYY down if you are on mobile) and follow the blog so all new posts, video or otherwise, will come right to you inbox along with the big announcement. Well, not that big. Think cool, new and improved. Nifty and fun even. Stay tuned!

Vision 2020: Tarot of the Heart

Since we just wrapped up the Valentine season and the “My Tarot Valentine 2020 series” it only makes sense to start the Vision 2020 series with romance and relationship readings.

From my side of the table, relationship and romance readings are some of the trickiest to do. The intuitive part isn’t difficult. The energy is as easy as easy to interpret as any other topic, but delivering the intuitive message requires an extra dose of care and professionalism .

Generally, people don’t turn to Tarot readings when their love life is all rainbows and unicorns. That’s just how the human heart works. When a relationship is good we just celebrate it and forget Tarot, which is as it should be. When people come to the cards for romance guidance, it is for a reason. Usually that reason is not a happy one.

Often the pain of loneliness draws a client to a reading.  However the client words the question, “Will I ever meet my soulmate or am I going to die alone and miserable?” gives you the gist of it. This should never be minimized or trivialized even when it comes from a young person. The pain is very real to them. They are up to their eyes in it, and likely can’t see beyond it the way objective outsiders can.  A desperate longing for a marriage or long term partnership deserves a gentle touch and above all gentle honesty. It’s great to be able to deliver optimistic news and give a sense that a relationship is on the horizon. It is no fun to tell a person who is hurting that their deep desire is not in the cards. Many times they hear “not now” or “such-and-such has to happen first” as a flat “no.” If you are a Tarot reader, expect blow-back in those situations. A few perceptive souls can hear the “not now” kind of message. Others will go straight to anger and defensiveness. They need time beyond the scope of a Tarot session. Either the flare of anger will pass and a relationship will find them in its time and place, or they will repeat the cycle of unlearned lessons that brought them to the reading in the first place. Either way, the Tarot reader’s honesty helps them move along their life path closer to the loved one that they seek. Platitudes, predictions, smoke and mirrors are cold comforts that serve no one.

On the other side of the same coin, there are people who are already in important relationships. They come to Tarot readings when they are having problems or the relationship has ended. A few of these are relieved to be freed from a stressful relationship by a breakup or divorce, but are struggling with “what’s next?” Most are heartbroken. They are looking for ways to heal the relationship before it ends or to “get back together” after it does. This brings us to the trickiest part of a relationship reading: the other person.

There are two main considerations when a reading turns to any person other than the client themselves.

First, it just doesn’t work. It is back to hammers and cell phones. You wouldn’t use a cell phone to pound a nail and you can’t make a phone call with a hammer. Tarot simply can’t read minds. It can’t tell you if your ex still loves you or if you will get back together or why they won’t answer your calls.

The second and equally important consideration is the other person’s privacy and dignity. I find it ethically wrong to try and read anyone, whether it is actually possible or not, without their knowledge and consent. Consider what happens to that person on an energetic level, even if they are unaware that a psychic is reaching out to them. How would you feel if a stranger looked at your heart and mind and told your ex everything they saw, all behind your back?

Given all of that, I think it wisest to just not take any third party questions. Third party means anyone other than the person reading the cards and the person getting the reading. If you are reading for yourself, that means the cards are about you, and you alone.

There are exceptions, even to this rule. In some rare, wonderful circumstances that other person will voluntarily lend their energy to the reading. If that happens, of course I will say what I sense. When that happens, I view it as the third person’s consent on a soul level. Most of all it is a gift  from that third person to the client. I will always say if energy comes in on its own, but never go out and seek it. In other words, the reading always accepts energy that comes in, but never reaches out to read energy without invitation. I always instruct the client to use discretion if they talk about the reading and the energy gift with the person who sent it. The other person may not be consciously aware that their energy touched the reading, and it is impossible to guess how they might react to the idea.

Romance and relationship readings deserve special consideration. They guide as usual, but also deal with some stronger than usual emotions. Tarot respects those emotions at the same time it respects the privacy and consent of everyone involved. Through it all, Tarot has a heart as it guides you through affairs of the heart.


How To Find Your Soulmate

This is an updated, combined version of my two-part post from 2009. Stay tuned for a more soulmate themed posts from the Tarotbytes archives.

The question of “how do I find my soulmate” (or some version of that) comes up in Tarot readings a LOT. I asked the question a LOT when I was younger and first started going to get psychic readings. Little did I know then that I would wind up doing this kind of work. After seeing the soulmate question from both sides, I have a few ideas that to offer. 


First, don’t worry about time. Love is one of those cosmic truths beyond time. Love has no need to respond to our time schedules or expectations because it exists beyond time. It is everywhere, always. The time and place for it to take a specific form is not something we control, cause or find.  “It happens in its own time” and “you can’t hurry love” are both very true. So don’t worry about WHEN. Once you take that “when” pressure off of yourself, and off of your unknown soulmate, then that creates more energetic space for the relationship to step into.

If the loneliness gets to be too much, and sometimes it does, remember that Love exists. It is an inseparable part of the cosmos. So are you.  Look up. You and your soulmate exist under the same sky. Love touches you even in the times when you least feel it.

Second, why not let your soulmate find you? The outward flowing, struggling quality of “finding” a soulmate is often counter-productive. If it is meant to be, it will happen naturally. Fighting the current, not ‘going with the flow’ only makes things harder. Think about a crowded amusement park. If you are constantly on the move, in among the crowd, what are the chances you will find that one person? What are the chances they can find you? Now, imagine standing on a bench and waving hello. What are the chances they will see you in the crowd now? If you are happy, relaxed, loving, compassionate, and being your genuine self, then you are more likely to attract your perfect mate to you.

Third, use the spiritual law of similars. “Birds of a feather flock together” is a thing. Soulmate energy seems to vibrate along the law of similars – like attracts like. Or as Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.” If you are going to attract people who are like you, what kind of soulmate do you want to draw into your life? One obsessed with being lonely, impatient, constantly seeking? Or do want a soulmate who is happy, and enjoying life just as it is right now? You do you…and enjoy every minute of it, and that sends a signal to the perfect match FOR you. That happiness is lighthouse, signaling to your soulmate. Nothing calls out to your perfect soulmate like being your genuine, happy self. Remember that other spiritual law: Confidence is sexy. Learning to feel comfortable in your own skin is an essential step.

Fourth, do things that you love to do. Going to bars or whatever with the sole purpose of “finding a soulmate” seldom works. Do something you love and that love, that light, will shine out to the people who love you for that thing you do. They say common interests are a good foundation for building a relationship. If you love, love, LOVE going to smoky bars and hanging out with drunk people, by all means that is the way to find a soulmate. If not, skip that idea and do whatever it is that you really do love. Do things that you really care about and things that feel like they feed your soul. You might find your perfect someone at that same spiritual buffet.

Feeling lonely, feeling like someone or something is missing from your life is difficult. Soulmates are deeply important, which is why they capture so much of our thoughts and emotional energy.  There are no glib or easy answers to finding love and acceptance. It comes in many forms. Love saturates the universe. Perhaps the key to finding out soulmate is finding love where ever it exists and, most of all, living the Love that exists within yourself.

Want more personalized guidance? Order Distance Tarot HERE