Hey everyone. I’m Zombie Cat. I poofed into quantum probability collapsed existence back in 2015 after Schrodinger’s experiment and a Menage A Tarot podcast collided in the hooman’s head and came out as a blog post on her old Modern Oracle site. You can read a reprise of the original post here. Both the hooman and I are very grateful for that podcasting experience to say the least.
A few days ago she tossed me the keys to the joint and walked off mumbling something about Mad Max needing cheese ….or maybe it was make a mask and going for groceries. Either way she had a slightly stressed look on her face like she was about ready to go full metal shoulder pads and start singing Tina Turner – badly. I figured that was my clue to take over the Tarot readings for a day or two. I usually only come shambling around at Halloween, but the end of the world as we know it has my attention. I’m back for the duration of the pandemic, to give you all a little break from being all positive and productive and hopeful and all that crazy crap. Some days if you peel off those 5 day old pajamas and take a shower it’s an accomplishment. If you want something thoughtful, diplomatic, kind, calm, reassuring, inspiring or empowering – go get one of the hooman’s readings. That’s not my style. Seeing as I am
- a cat and
- a zombie
I don’t feel any particular need to sugar coat such things. Despite the fictional undead cat thing, I’m a damn fine Tarot reader. That’s why I usually charge $10 per reading. I’m cutting you people types a break while the lung rot is out there, and my yes or no readings are only $5 (three cards for the price of one) until the end of April. Maybe longer. The hooman said she’s not letting her guard down until someone squirts an FDA approved vaccine in her arm. Meanwhile she is always running around cautioning people about how Tarot doesn’t predict the future, trying to encourage them and show them the power of their choices and all that. I just call ’em as I see ’em. If you want to believe a prediction from an un-dead fictional cartoon cat, who am I to judge? Ask me anything. I’ll give you a straight up yes or no answer guaranteed to contain some words and have a 50% chance of being dead wrong. Any accidental snark or humor is free of charge. All policies and disclaimers apply, caveat emptor, swim at your own risk.
And go wash your hands.
Sage Words Tarot 